Extract from ‘The Daily News’. Today 01/02/2012.
The people of Birmingham today breathed a huge sigh of relief when local blogging Boot pervert, SHpics, was finally banged to rights and put behind bars. Only two days ago the prisoner was still at large and brazenly blogging about his sick passion for a pair of desert boots. Detectives were called when neighbour, Mindy Kipper, raised the alarm.
‘I always knew he were a weirdo..’ said plucky Miss Kipper..’ even at the height of summer he was always laced up to the knee..!’ Distraught Miss Kipper claimed her life had been a living hell.
‘Me an’ my little Tommy haven’t slept for months..The walls are like paper and you could always ‘ear ‘im, polishing away, polish on, polish off, polish on, polish off..All night long it were!’
Detectives stormed the premises at dawn this morning and found the accused surrounded by over twenty pairs of boots of all shapes and styles.
‘Not a single pair of normal shoes in the ‘ouse!’ said Detective Rodney Sole, ‘He’s one sick son of a *itch!’
Photographs of the accused indicate he had a slight tumble as he was being taken to the local lock up, but prisoners rights groups are quoted as being happy with the arrest. ‘You make your bed, you lie in it!’ said a spokesman.
So far the prisoner has remained silent but our intrepid reporter has managed to track down the very pair of desert boots that started the media furore. Fearing a backlash for their part in the depraved relationship, the pair of ‘Meindl standard army issue desert combat boots’ were staying at a secret location with friends. Initially refusing to comment, only the offer of a book deal could get them to speak, and then only briefly…
‘He seemed like a perfectly nice man…Ok, He’d talk to us a bit more than was strictly normal when he was putting us on and stuff, but we never thought much of it…He always kept us nice and clean, washed our laces, stuff like that you know…And he’d got other boots..Lots of them…Anyway we didn’t really start to worry until christmas..That was when he bought us the nightie…’
Tomorrow…Exclusive…’Our Nights of Footwear Fetish Games’…The desert boots reveal all.
Below….The proof….Not a single pair of shoes in the house……Just Boots…..Twenty Pairs!!
All Images Copyright Stuart Allan Hyde..
(Thanks to Marina for the germ of an idea.)