The observant amongst you will have noted that the cyber skies, that, like some vast o’erhanging firmament,  hover twinkling and expectant above Shpics world, have been strangely dormant for the last few days. This has not been due to lethargy on my part Dear Reader…OH NO! Heaven forbid that you should even contemplate such a thing….. In fact, the graceful, dignified and aquiline nose of your host has been pressed, incredibly hard, against the photographic grindstone. Oh how I suffer for you…….. So…To bring you up to speed…..After a good few weeks of exploring the roads less travelled of inland Andalucía, I bit the bullet and hoisted the snoring, sweaty, recumbent form of Mrs Shpics, (who has grown overly fond of the patio sunbed), into the charabanc and, ignoring her grumbles and moans, pointed the front wheels south and headed for the coast….It was a good hour and a half later before the kicking and screaming ceased and, thank heavens, she started to gurgle and coo as the glittery splendour of the Mediterranean appeared through the windshield. Then, it took just a simple promise of a bucket and spade, and she was once again the little ray of sunshine I so adore…Phew. We found a room at Almodraba de Monteleva’s only hotel, ‘Las Salinas’…Small and idiosyncratically managed by a family of effusive females and surly young males, overseen by the most tactile gentleman either of us has ever met….The fellow couldn’t enter a room without fondling your arm or squeezing your buttocks…Strangely disconcerting…But, with 4 kilometres of almost deserted beach on the front doorstep we found ourselves willing to put up with a bit of casual extra body contact and settled into a comfy little room at the shady rear. I could have done with a rest, but the now childishly exuberant Mrs Shpics was having none of it, and we headed immediately for the beach. Laden with chairs, windbreaks, umbrellas, cool boxes, beach blankets, bed rolls, hats, creams, books, towels and a fly swat, I struggled to keep up with the frolicsome Mrs Shpics, skipping along gaily with her ‘My Little Princess’ bucket and spade, and it was only when her ‘This will do’ pulled me up short that I bothered to look around. There were very few people…Very few…..But…Every hundred yards or so an umbrella and a couple…No kids? Hmmmmm?…..Too late I reached for my glasses. Bums…Bollocks’n’Boobs…..and, I hesitate to say it, Ladies Downstairs Areas…….It seems we were on a naturist beach. Too late in the day to go anywhere else, and the pink and very shiny Mrs Shpics was already happily splashing in the waves, arse cheeks akimbo. So… firmly trussed into my shorts and glued to my seat, I took great pains to ensure that the windbreaks and umbrellas were the only things erected anywhere near our patch.

  All Images Copyright Stuart Allan Hyde

Advertisements
  1. janemorley2014

    Brilliant sh – wondered where your posts had got to, time well spent I’d say , très litéraire as well…. Love the boat pics, especially Najar – I think Kenneth Williams had a song about that way back? 🙂 I’m not convinced about the 20/20 vision though, that hat wearer is a bloke isn’t it? :/

    Reply

    1. Stuart Hyde - shpics

      That hat wearer IS a lady, (well, female anyway).. That thing hanging down, was, thank heavens, a scarf like accoutrement attached to her bonnet……(I admit I made the same mistake at first).
      I must have missed Mr Williams song…Do tell.
      :/

      Reply

      1. janemorley2014

        I’m relieved to have that cleared up although I imagine approaching any of the naturists with your camera, even in the interests of documentary clarification, could be a tad dodgy :/
        Check out Rambling Sid Rumpo on youtube – Delightful cordwangling ditties to warm the heart ! o_O 😀

      2. janemorley2014

        Avoid the east wind at all costs direction-wise o_O Rambling Syd Rumpo was a major featured star on ‘Around the Horn’ in the 50’s – they repeat them on BBC4 Extra radio – very drole and cocklewarming of a winter evening 🙂

      3. Stuart Hyde - shpics

        I’m told there’s nothing worse than an Easterly… o_O

        Ok…I’d heard of Kenneth Williams (even just about remember him), but this other stuff is right out of my bailiwick…It’s a quandary….Should I research this archaic vein of humour, or am I best staying here in the current century, continuing to follow my current cutting edge, state of the art interests?
        Hmmmmmm….??

      4. janemorley2014

        For the sophisticated humourist as much ‘dans le vent’ as your good self and capable as you are of doubling your entendre at the drop of a hat, I should say it was essential listening. As is the dialogue of ‘Julian & Sandy’ from the same programme…. cutting edge in their day and hugely relevant today both from the social history and cordwangling angle… I rest my case o_O

      5. janemorley2014

        AAwww now that is so cute! (Picture American accent there for full effect 🙂 ) I’ve never heard of them before but I never saw a cuter vacuum cleaner in my entire life 🙂 Thanks for introducing me ⭐ 🙂 Anyway, can’t see what’s wrong with being a Dugong, definitely not ‘Thin White Duke’ but ‘Chubby Pink Blob’ could be chouette too no ?! :/ o_O 😀

  2. west517

    Beautiful!! I especially love the Sunset and Boat images 😀 … gorgeous as ever! … and– you’re sure that was a lady? Something seems a just smidge out of place….

    Reply

    1. Stuart Hyde - shpics

      Thanks Westie 😀
      Glad you like……..But yes, it was definitely the female of the species…Stationary and in silhouette, a hat with a streamer is a confusing thing…Had you been there and seen it flapping in the breeze you would have had no doubts….. o_O

      Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: