Mr Shpics is a firm believer in making the best of yourself…..
He never leaves the house without a subtle bit of back-combing, a dab of the old spot-concealer, a colour enhancing cheek-tweak and maybe even a few minutes of sexy pout practice in the hallway mirror just in case he runs into Milla Jovovitch…….BUT!
Smartening yourself up can go a bit far………
Take for example the fairground at Stourport on Severn….
Back in the day, this was your common or garden, bog-standard, chewing gum be-spattered, chip wrapper strewn, stick to the soles of your shoes, typical English fairground. Nothing better, nothing worse. In the midlands of the 1960’s, this was one of a very few possible Sunday outings, and many is the time that the infant Mr Shpics found himself thrust onto the waltzers by his inebriated mother, (always somewhat inclined to cruelty), only to stagger off three minutes later with candyfloss in his hair and his dungarees covered in vomit to find her with her tongue down the throat of some greasy haired gypsy who smelled of stale beer and fags.
Oh to be young again!
But enough reminiscing!
What on earth has happened to Stourport’s fair?
Not content with a bit of a sweep-up and a quick squirt of air-freshener, the owners, who are obviously in league with the devil, have administered the funfair equivalent of an elixir of youth..Every pole, every step, every bill board, every single surface is brightly painted, every inch of ground is covered with super-soft, super-squeaky-clean rubberised matting, ( matting that wouldn’t show blood….I’m not stupid), pristine flags flutter in the breeze, even the litter is neatly folded and ironed……..(well probably, I didn’t see any actual litter even though the smell of freshly cooked hot-dogs and honey sweet toffee apples floated on the air)…
I tell you IT WAS WEIRD!
It’s got to be some kind of Stephen King’ish funfair scenario where unsuspecting revelers get whipped back in time to an alternative nineteen-sixties, where they’re gang-raped by aliens dressed as clowns and fed to giant spiders…
NO WAY A FUN FAIR SHOULD BE THIS CLEAN AND TIDY…..
IT MUST BE EVIL !!!!!
I was there for a good forty minutes, and though I’m sure I heard the laughter of children….. I didn’t see a single one !!
Still, on a clear day it does make a nice picture.
Give the pics a click, they’re loads betta bigga.
All Images Copyright Stuart Allan Hyde.
scillagrace
It does look eerily pristine….that’s not a Photoshop effect, is it?
Stuart Hyde - shpics
Nope………It really was that spick and span!
Tanya Ellis
haha,thats funny,but stourport is the posh side with all those boats floating up and down
Stuart Hyde - shpics
Stourport..POSH????
What drugs are you on woman?
The sign on the main road into town reads:
“WELCOME TO STOURPORT…ARE YOU INSURED?”
Even the pigeons wear stab vests !
Tanya Ellis
lol
sebastianscholl
Hey Stuart – thanks for liking my post, I just scanned through a few of yours and am embarrassed how lame my photography looks in comparison! Amazing work!
Stuart Hyde - shpics
I didn’t see anything lame…..
And anyway, it doesn’t matter how good any of us are right this minute…’The next photo is ALWAYS the best photo!’
🙂
Keep blogging and keep snapping….
walterwsmith3rd
I related relentlessly and laughed with your prose … “it must be evil!!”
Stuart Hyde - shpics
Many enter…but few return.
Vit Peyr
Fantastic and surreal!
Stuart Hyde - shpics
Hey..
Thanks for popping in here….
It really was a strange place..Glad you like the pics.
🙂
gFlow
dude…. one of the strongest WP photo sites!
Congrats on the folio and the layout. Love the color and the process quality in the sky.
Stuart Hyde - shpics
Hey ……that is really kind of you!
Thanks so much for having a look-see….
🙂